Last weekend, I asked people on Twitter and Facebook for random writing prompts. From those, I wrote seven micro and flash fiction stories. I’ll be posting them here over the next week. (You can read #1 and #2 and #3 already.)
The fourth story is courtesy of Bryan Thao Worra, who suggested “Dachshunds from Mars”, which of course I wrote. (Dachshunds are an easy sell to my brain, right up there with dinosaurs and robots.) Here is my 467-word interpretation of that prompt:
Dachshunds from Mars
“Cut!” the director yelled. A bell rang, and the set ground to a stop. On the other side of the camera, the buxom blond teen wearing the shimmery gold bikini and fishbowl astronaut helmet froze.
“I did it again, didn’t I?” she asked, her words muffled by the helmet.
“Candy, baby, if you can’t hit your mark, I’m gonna have to replace you,” the director said. He was a portly man in his late forties with a megaphone and a look of perpetual exhaustion. “You’re blocking the dogs.”
Candy glanced down, and jumped back a little. With her out of the way, the two stiff-backed dachshunds — still holding their positions (facing stage-right, heads held high so the overhead lights didn’t reflect off their miniature helmets) — were perched at the top of a mound of red-tinted sand. “Sorry, pups,” she said, her voice high pitched and contrite.
“Places!” the director called out. The larger of the dogs, a short-haired male with a black and brown dappled coat, immediately turned, walked down to the bottom of the dirt mound, and raised one paw in the air, ready to move forward. His co-star, a long-haired female (white, with large black spots), followed him, setting herself slightly in front of him, and a little behind, so the camera could clearly see them both.
She looked over at Candy for a moment, and shook her head slightly.
“What’s that?” the director asked of the dog trainer, who was sitting in the chair next to him. “Her helmet not on right?”
“Oh, no,” the man said, “Sadie’s just… picky about who she works with.”
“Yeah, well, she’s not in charge of our budget,” the director muttered, “or she’d understand why we hired the producer’s daughter.” Louder, he shouted, “All right, ready?” through the megaphone.
Candy quickly moved to position a few steps behind the dogs. “I’ll get it right this time!” she yelled back.
“I swear to God…” the director whispered, before yelling, “Action!”
Music swelled, the dogs walked forward, backs straight, head’s high, climbing the Martian hill toward the climactic final scene and —
Candy tripped, and fell, showering the dogs in a rain of red sand.
“Cut!” the director yelled. “What’s going on? Did she land on the dogs? Somebody check the damn dogs!”
The dust settled, and the two dachshunds strode purposefully, unhurt, to the front of the stage. Sadie put her head down and used one paw to take her helmet off. Beside her, Kauaʻi did the same. As one, they looked at Candy — who was shaking sand out of her bikini — looked back at the director, and walked off stage.
“I guess we’ll be in our trailer,” their trainer said, and hurried after them.
The director sighed. “Candy, baby…” he said, “we gotta talk.”
Want to write like this? Take my online flash fiction workshop, beginning September 2! Registration is now open — read more and sign up here.